”Tera woh pyaar yaad aayega, bhulega na yeh dil mera.”
We were just too cute together to not talk about it. I wanted my best people to read this so yes this is a special blog for my people to tell them about my first love. This might be a little emotional but please bear with me. I don’t speak about us anymore but had to one last time.
We were cute. We were just too cute. I am not exaggerating when I say this. We both studied in same school and were in same class in 9th. We were really good friends till 10th and then came the FEELINGS. I completed his home works, assignments sometimes when he would ask me to. I knew I had feelings for him when in 10th std but yes as always was scared to even admit it. So as any other girl would do, I admitted I had feelings for him to my best friend first and she was shocked af! Days passed by and me and him just spoke in school and one night when we were chatting through text messages I admitted to him that I love him. The conversation went like this,
”Should I say something?”, I said all scared how he will react.
”Bol na.” , he said.
” I think I love you.”, I sent this with trembling and cold hands.
” Are you serious simran?” , he was completely shocked and it was quite evident.
”No.. I was just kidding!” I sent this with thousands of laughing emojis.
” I know you are not because I love you too.”, he sent this and I was into the 7th heaven.
Thus, we began dating and it was a fantastic feeling always. It was filled with so much just so much of emotions. Like any teenage couple we were caught by our parents but we were besharam enough to continue dating each other. 10th std was over with too much of thrill. Then began the next stage of our relationship, THE LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIP.
The long distance relationship was really tough as he was in a military school and thus had no chance of having a cell phone to talk. Yet we managed for some months just like that. Later on I couldn’t take it anymore so I ended up breaking up with him. I was very selfish while taking that decision and I’ve hurt him way too much in those months and years. He stood by me even then. He never left me alone. He maintained a relationship of good friend even when he was hurting so much from within. My instability and insecurities hurt him way too much than he ever talks about it. I kept coming back to him to leave him again and this happened quite too many times which couldn’t even be counted. We went just like that for almost 2 years. We stayed the best of friends even after the beak up without any intentions of getting back together. He always told me, ” Shona focus and live your present. You never know what the future holds for you or us.” I played with his emotions with no such intention but it happened and I am genuinely sorry for that.
Months passed and then one day in September 2018 we were just talking and it somehow led to us getting back together again. We committed to stay together for as long as we could. I swear on him on God that the time since September 2018- January 2020 was THE BEST TIME OF MY LIFE. I had moved to Navi mumbai for my graduation studies and he was pursuing his NDA exam. We stood by each other through all of this. I kept motivating him to crack his NDA exam and all other exams that he was attempting. He kept me sane through my architectural studies and y submission stress. The thought of staying away from him never even occurred to my mind after that. I kept living in my present happy with him. In June 2019 he told me he is also gonna shift to Navi Mumbai and he was pursuing his career in B.Sc Finance in a college at Kharghar. The happiness we shared had no bounds as we were going to be in the same city with complete freedom. He moved in to Kharghar in June last week.
The time spent with him there cannot even be expressed in words. We did all the crazy things. We got drunk, we went to so many places and had the best time of life. Days passed and he finally started getting comfortable with hi college and new friends. We spent our weekends together and it was a crazy time. It was like we were living the dream life. My birthday was the most special part of everything. All of friends n he had planned such a beautiful surprise for me. It was once in a lifetime experience. We had begun fighting a little too much from like November and it was driving both of us crazy. I would talk to him about this but we could never come to a conclusion. I won’t go into the details of our fights as I want to forget that part from my life.
As they say all beautiful things come to an ending, we too had to end someday. My life turning out too good to be true past one n half year. He broke up with me in January 2020 and a tight sap of karma hit my face. All those things that I had said to him earlier came back flying to me like a boomerang and hit right in my face. We parted our ways. It was ugly. It was very ugly. No break-ups are easy and this wasn’t either. But I did learn many things from this breakup.
He was always a place for me to escape from my family issues. They hurt me too much so I would always go to him for peace. He was my safe place. He wasn’t just my boyfriend he was much more than that to me. But yes I realized that I can’t take help of any person to run away from my life problems. No one can help me get away from those and I have to face them someday. He taught me how to love myself. He made me do all the wonderful things which I never though I could do. He taught me so much about life. In this era of physical relationship, we shared a genuine love relationship. It was the most beautiful feeling I have ever experienced till now. I feel glad to have shared all my firsts with you. We were beautiful. We were something. I know things don’t work out anymore but I am happy it happened. I don’t want it back or him either but it was a wonderful feeling. I have let it all go finally after almost 7 months of breakup. We both learned so many things from each other. Even if this won’t reach him today I am glad I could share it with you few people. The magic of first love is totally different and lucky are those who have had this feeling. I will always know that one part of my heart belongs to him no matter how far we go from each other. He is a gem of a person and he doesn’t know it but he is very genuine and calm person.
Thank you for reading guys. I just had to let it out and yes this is the last time I speak about him to anybody. It was beautiful and I will cherish it always. Love you guys for listening to my tantrums always. Loads of love and hugs!